So yeah...
Haven't posted in a LONG time. Why? Haven't really thought of anything interesting to say, ya know?
First off, let me state this. Its the future, for fuck's sake.
I started this blog with one goal in mind; get my opinions on mostly movies and crap out there, to see if people would be interested in reading what I had to say. Nothing more, nothing less.
But, something has sparked me related to that. Its kind of out there, but it all ties together, trust me.
Its almost seven in the morning. I can't sleep, because of this topic. I wish I could. I want to. But its not going to happen until I get this out in the open.
I just watched a movie called "Playing Columbine" its about the guy that made a crappy 16-bit game called "Super Columbine Massacre RPG!" and the ramifications of doing so. It was a profound experience. And saying that probably won't mean a lot to the people that don't much about me. But to those that do, you would realize just how much that hits home.
No, I wasn't at Columbine or whatever, I've never even been to Colorado. No desire to as well. No, no. I was and still am, an "individual" of sorts. I do kind of what I want. And I don't care about people's opinions at all. Imagine how much fun that was in high school. Go ahead. I'll wait here.
Also, you people should know that I am a gamer. Not as much as I used to be, but most of my formidable adolescent years were spent in front of a tv, alongside the clunky hum of my PS1 as it churned out Final Fantasy 7 for hours on end. That was what I wanted to do. And I was damn happy doing it. The only way I could have been any happier, is if the game never ended.
Now, skip ahead to the Columbine shooting. Here is a kid, who is a loner. Mostly by choice. He has long, weird hair. Listens to weird music. Watches weird tv. I grew up in a town of like 100 people. Yeah. So, that struck a particular chord. Was I going to shoot someone? Hell no. I'm not a moron. Never even crossed my mind. I was happy just talking circles around people. But it didn't stop the looks. It didn't stop the whispers, the constant monitoring, the searches by teachers and staff. After repeated signs that I wasn't going to do that, it just kept going. But I dealt with it, because again, I don't care what anyone has to say or think about me. That includes you, person that is reading this.
But still, I didn't have a voice. The media cloaks everything. You get news one of two ways; warm and fuzzy or frightening. That's it. So I couldn't look there. What is a person to do? You introvert. I didn't have it in me to have a voice at that time. I tried. But one against a million are shitty odds.
But that's not the point of this. I'm not here to tell you my sob story or anything. Again, I don't care.
I'm here to tell you about this movie.
I've never had a piece of media affect me like this. Never. It was so thought provoking and difficult to process all at once. I've watched it twice and I'm still not sure what I've watched. It was biased, yeah. But, it was a voice for my people. Men and women that think and act like I do. Has anyone ever had that happen? Has some kind of media struck you like this before?
I'm sitting here, and all I can think of, is all of that stuff that I went through. And I'm watching this guy go through all of that, for making a game. And the game doesn't glorify what those two psychopaths did. It tells the whole story. Not the crap that Fox News is going to give you. Or Newsweek, or anything like that. You learn what the kids went through, what they thought. The questions have been asked on both sides, where were the parents? What would make someone do such a thing? I don't know. Like I said, I had more fun confusing a bunch of rednecks with words longer than two syllables.
If I can pass one thing to you people. The like ten of you that are going to read this (hi mom!). The one thing I want anyone to take away from meeting me, is to never judge someone at face value, hell, don't judge at all. Let people be themselves, and care about them, because they're people. Not for their skills.
This is the future for fuck's sake.
Let's be excellent to each other.
Friday, July 15, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Giant Babies, and Societies Other Ills.
So I'm a little late to the party on this one, and I don't watch the National Geographic Channel, because everything they do, TLC does better (for the most part). But there is one show on there, that's usually worth catching here and there, and that's "Taboo".
Now, for the uninitiated, the show is about looking into the weird fetishes or deviances in the world at large, and a particular episode aired some time ago, that featured a man. But not a normal man. No, this man was sort of like a super hero. In the sense that he had two lives, the one he presented as his cover, and the other that he lived in secret.
But this guy ain't fighting crime. He's not even part of a Neighborhood Watch program. No, this guy is living his home life as a giant baby. Now, normally, I don't care what people do behind closed doors, that's their business, but when I'm confronted with it on a cable show...it becomes my business. This...maby (ha!) lives his life away from the "judging" eyes of society, spending his home life in giant onesies, sleeping in a mammoth sized crib, getting fed by a surrogate mother...Ugh, you know, I'll just skip over the particulars of it and boil it down for you, this guy is messed up in the ol' dome piece. Both he and his "mother" rock the scales close to 400 lbs. and are on disability.
Yeah, he gets SSI payments for wanting to be a giant baby. Ain't America swell? And that's not just "Obama" as most morons on the Tea Party would say. Its our society at large. For those of us that are brave enough to scour the darker corners on the internet, you've no doubt seen some of the just downright fucking weird pages and sites that exist for different fetishes. Let's go through some, shall we??! Yeah, I'm fucking stoked for this.
Furry: Let's get the biggest one out of the way. A lot of people have been introduced to this particular sub-culture (thank you, internet!) through CSI and other shows. But they don't really get into the deeper end of the this weird shit. These people...want to be anthropomorphic beings. Hybrids of animals (usually wolves) and humans. But it doesn't just stop there, most of the 13-year-olds and divorce-es that carry on about this garbage end up dragging in other genres and cliches to to create something completely awful. In this group, its entirely acceptable to picture yourself as a half-dragon, werewolf, vampire, succubus with leanings toward being a wizard. No one bats an eye.
Cartoon Fetish: This is a sad one for me. Because it usually involves taking cartoons that I loved as a kid (or even enjoy now) and sexing them up for sad, pathetic bastards to rub one out to. Does the world really need to see what it would like if Optimus Prime stopped the fighting with Megatron, and instead opted to totally just plow the shit out of Voltron? No...no we don't. Ever. Never, ever.
Fanfiction: 1- Normal: Just what it says, normal fan fiction. Taking already established characters, and either extending their stories or coming up with something on the fly. Pretty much what George Lucas did for the prequel trilogy.
Fanfiction: 2- Mary Sue'in' it up: This is a particularly odd sublet of the fan fiction writers that come up with their own characters to interact with an already established universe. However, the term "Mary Sue" has come to represent that character in that, the character is usually over powered, nigh invulnerable, a bastion of purity, in love with the main character, has the main character in love with him/herself. Complete fuckwadery at its finest. As an example, it would...not really acceptable, but its done, to have your character be absolutely gorgeous to either sex, wielding powers of every type of persuasion (if its that kind of story) and that kind of thing. You know, I don't really think that Beast from Beauty and the Beast, had a kid that could switch between powers and that Gastion was totally-balls out in love with. Just don't think so.
Fanfiction: 3- Slash/Yaoi/alltheothercrap: These three are pretty much the same, just replace the context with "character x, humps character y, then kills character z." The big difference come in with the titles. Slash stories are usually crap involving character having extremely explicit sex, then some sort of violence happens. Yaoi (taken from a Japanese term KAWAII ^________________^) is two male characters fallen in love, usually within a Final Fantasy universe, or Harry Potter. A sample would read as; "Harry then stepped toward Dumbledore, his hands twitching with anticipation. Dumbledore smiled beneath his giant beard and took Harry's hands..." what the fuck?! Why? Why would I do that?! I. Hate. The. Internet!
Vampires: See, Furries, but even odder, because black leather and Hot Topic are involved. They also have different classifications. There are your "psy" vampires, the ones that "feed" on psychic energies. The "sanguine" vampires. Or as they're normally called, fucking vampires. Its all just horse shit to cover up that they aren't really vampires and instead they're sad people with sadder lives that have nothing better to do than post on Smoke and Mirrors about how their parents don't care, and how they think they're coming under a malaise from not feeding.
Babies: See above. Really, its just more of the same. I'm actually kind of astonished about how much of a following this particular thing has. Apparently there are even support groups for people that...well, just like to wear diapers. Fucking really? Diapers? That's what gets you going? Yeah, because nothing's hotter than a vadge covered in shit.
And this crap has even started to blend together, so now you can have "baby-furs", "vampire slash fics", etc. And most people that just get online for FaceBook, email and YouTube wouldn't even know this crap was out there. But I, in my stalwart journey to explore the internet, and a helping of Google Roulette have seen my fair share of fat guys wearing diapers dressed up as Bugs Bunny humping a guy dressed like Minnie Mouse and they both have bat wings. Welcome to society!
But what or who is to blame for this? I'm not entirely sure. Mental illness is surely a root cause, but then I could see parental neglect, good memories (non-sexual) of a family pet, really anything. I like a good story as much as the next one, but I'm not about to hijack someone else's shit and try to put my own spin on it. That's bush league.
So, for now, I bid you farewell, and don't ever, ever, look up any of this shit, unless you want to end up like me.
Now, for the uninitiated, the show is about looking into the weird fetishes or deviances in the world at large, and a particular episode aired some time ago, that featured a man. But not a normal man. No, this man was sort of like a super hero. In the sense that he had two lives, the one he presented as his cover, and the other that he lived in secret.
But this guy ain't fighting crime. He's not even part of a Neighborhood Watch program. No, this guy is living his home life as a giant baby. Now, normally, I don't care what people do behind closed doors, that's their business, but when I'm confronted with it on a cable show...it becomes my business. This...maby (ha!) lives his life away from the "judging" eyes of society, spending his home life in giant onesies, sleeping in a mammoth sized crib, getting fed by a surrogate mother...Ugh, you know, I'll just skip over the particulars of it and boil it down for you, this guy is messed up in the ol' dome piece. Both he and his "mother" rock the scales close to 400 lbs. and are on disability.
Yeah, he gets SSI payments for wanting to be a giant baby. Ain't America swell? And that's not just "Obama" as most morons on the Tea Party would say. Its our society at large. For those of us that are brave enough to scour the darker corners on the internet, you've no doubt seen some of the just downright fucking weird pages and sites that exist for different fetishes. Let's go through some, shall we??! Yeah, I'm fucking stoked for this.
Furry: Let's get the biggest one out of the way. A lot of people have been introduced to this particular sub-culture (thank you, internet!) through CSI and other shows. But they don't really get into the deeper end of the this weird shit. These people...want to be anthropomorphic beings. Hybrids of animals (usually wolves) and humans. But it doesn't just stop there, most of the 13-year-olds and divorce-es that carry on about this garbage end up dragging in other genres and cliches to to create something completely awful. In this group, its entirely acceptable to picture yourself as a half-dragon, werewolf, vampire, succubus with leanings toward being a wizard. No one bats an eye.
Cartoon Fetish: This is a sad one for me. Because it usually involves taking cartoons that I loved as a kid (or even enjoy now) and sexing them up for sad, pathetic bastards to rub one out to. Does the world really need to see what it would like if Optimus Prime stopped the fighting with Megatron, and instead opted to totally just plow the shit out of Voltron? No...no we don't. Ever. Never, ever.
Fanfiction: 1- Normal: Just what it says, normal fan fiction. Taking already established characters, and either extending their stories or coming up with something on the fly. Pretty much what George Lucas did for the prequel trilogy.
Fanfiction: 2- Mary Sue'in' it up: This is a particularly odd sublet of the fan fiction writers that come up with their own characters to interact with an already established universe. However, the term "Mary Sue" has come to represent that character in that, the character is usually over powered, nigh invulnerable, a bastion of purity, in love with the main character, has the main character in love with him/herself. Complete fuckwadery at its finest. As an example, it would...not really acceptable, but its done, to have your character be absolutely gorgeous to either sex, wielding powers of every type of persuasion (if its that kind of story) and that kind of thing. You know, I don't really think that Beast from Beauty and the Beast, had a kid that could switch between powers and that Gastion was totally-balls out in love with. Just don't think so.
Fanfiction: 3- Slash/Yaoi/alltheothercrap: These three are pretty much the same, just replace the context with "character x, humps character y, then kills character z." The big difference come in with the titles. Slash stories are usually crap involving character having extremely explicit sex, then some sort of violence happens. Yaoi (taken from a Japanese term KAWAII ^________________^) is two male characters fallen in love, usually within a Final Fantasy universe, or Harry Potter. A sample would read as; "Harry then stepped toward Dumbledore, his hands twitching with anticipation. Dumbledore smiled beneath his giant beard and took Harry's hands..." what the fuck?! Why? Why would I do that?! I. Hate. The. Internet!
Vampires: See, Furries, but even odder, because black leather and Hot Topic are involved. They also have different classifications. There are your "psy" vampires, the ones that "feed" on psychic energies. The "sanguine" vampires. Or as they're normally called, fucking vampires. Its all just horse shit to cover up that they aren't really vampires and instead they're sad people with sadder lives that have nothing better to do than post on Smoke and Mirrors about how their parents don't care, and how they think they're coming under a malaise from not feeding.
Babies: See above. Really, its just more of the same. I'm actually kind of astonished about how much of a following this particular thing has. Apparently there are even support groups for people that...well, just like to wear diapers. Fucking really? Diapers? That's what gets you going? Yeah, because nothing's hotter than a vadge covered in shit.
And this crap has even started to blend together, so now you can have "baby-furs", "vampire slash fics", etc. And most people that just get online for FaceBook, email and YouTube wouldn't even know this crap was out there. But I, in my stalwart journey to explore the internet, and a helping of Google Roulette have seen my fair share of fat guys wearing diapers dressed up as Bugs Bunny humping a guy dressed like Minnie Mouse and they both have bat wings. Welcome to society!
But what or who is to blame for this? I'm not entirely sure. Mental illness is surely a root cause, but then I could see parental neglect, good memories (non-sexual) of a family pet, really anything. I like a good story as much as the next one, but I'm not about to hijack someone else's shit and try to put my own spin on it. That's bush league.
So, for now, I bid you farewell, and don't ever, ever, look up any of this shit, unless you want to end up like me.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Getting Stuff Out of the Way
All right, its one in the morning, I'm tired as all hell, but I can't sleep. So I thought I'd fire up the ol' blog machine and see what comes out of my brain hole. Yes, I have a brain hole. Kind of like the Matrix ones, but no metal plug. Just all kind of slops out of there. Yup.
So what I've got planned here, is to just go. Its going to be weird. Its going to be completely weird. But, here it is.
Why can't Mystery Science Theater 3000 come back on the air? It was a great show with a devoted following, it ran forever on two networks that had no clue how to run it, but it still hangs on. Its on DVD, its all over the internet (mostly because the creators encourage downloading/streaming of it) and the stars/creators all have various versions of the format that they even perform live. Why wouldn't this work? Yeah, it would be kind of pricey if they wanted to go after "real" movies, but there are plenty in public domain that would work just fine. Just something that's always bothered me.
Especially when you look at all the crap that comes on TV nowadays. I mean, look at "The Cape". That was awful. I can't even elaborate on how terrible that show was. Then, you have five-thousand reality shows that are all trying to capitalize on some show that's done the format better than they can do, no matter how many bells and whistles they add to it.
Its not like comedies got it any better. Anyone seen "Breaking In" I think that's the name of it. It has Christian Slater in it, that's all I know. It got cancelled, but that isn't going to heal the wounds I got from watching it. One of the last episodes they did, was about Comic-Con, now, I've never been to a "con" but I can't imagine it being any worse than what they presented. It seems like the big jock guy from "Revenge of the Nerds" wrote a television show. Here's a quote: "nerds only care about Xena and Star Trek". Let that sink in for a moment. All done? Did you die a little inside? Someone said this was acceptable for air. Yup.
And the big one that I hate, is Glee. I know, everyone loves it, because cute little "teenagers" in wheelchairs sing old and new pop songs, and its so happy...fuck that. Now, before I get started, I am accepting of everyone's lifestyle. I don't care if you're a gay, african american, snowboarder who moonlights as an acoustic guitair player in an alt-ska band, I really don't. But this show seems to delight in playing off everyone's supposed "un-gayness" and everyone else's "okay-with-gayness". To me, the whole mess looks like a stereotypical gay guy's wet dream. Even the straight characters seem like they're all on the verge of just grabbing the nearest person of the same gender and just going for it. Now, that's not a knock on the whole gay side, that's a knock on bad writing. So all you "Gleeks" go to hell. Or just, find a better show. Come on.
On the brighter side of things, soon we can all start ignoring Charlie Sheen. And I can't wait. The "winning" shit was not funny. Neither was the "warlock" business. I assume his stage show wasn't anything special, and there's just not anything spectacular about the guy. I liked Hot Shots, but that's it. In everything else, he's played himself. Look at his tenure on "Spin City" in what I like to call the "un-watchable" years. If you didn't know better, you'd think Two and a Half Men was a sequel to it. Both characters are so awesomely called "Charlie" both are womanizing drunks pushed into odd situations. Gah.
But back to my original point, he's been replaced by Ashton Kutcher. Okay. Now, I'm not praising Kelso, and I've never sat through an episode of the show...well, maybe if you catch all the re-runs I've skipped through, it might add up to an episode. But really, does this matter? Not in the long run.
I used to love wrestling. I still watch it from time to time. I'm not one of those weird fans, that obsesses over every little thing. I know its fake. And I can live with that, because it CAN be entertaining. But not usually. It just sucks that ROH isn't on TV anymore. I actually liked watching some of those guys almost kill themselves doing stupid moves.
But really, WWE is the only game in town. TNA tries, but they are like a low-rent WCW. Not when WCW was good, like late 1999 WCW. Don't know what I'm talking about? Hit up YouTube. Have fun.
But what really bothers me about it, is that it just seems like they've stopped trying. I mean, really. WWE was messing up so badly that they had to bring The Rock back. TNA can't do anything right, and I used to love watching their show. I don't want to see the same old bastards doing the same old moves, and talking the same way. Its just bad. And no, I don't watch MMA, unless you count Bully Beatdown. If Mayhem fought every show, I'd be an MMA-freak. Instead, its just guys that look like high-school football players in bike shorts, trading arm bars and chokes for fifteen minutes. No thanks. If you like it, that's great. Its not for me.
What else...what else...oh! I heard a Bruno Mars song the other day at work. And I have never hated my ears for being able to work so much in my life. But then, it got worse. Because that was followed up with some of the American Idol finalists. And all I have to say, is WHAT THE FUCK, AMERICA?! We shunned Korn and Limp Bizkit for this? Are you kidding me? Bruno Mars writes a song about being lazy, in the most lazy way possible. Makes a lazy video about being lazy...and people buy this? Not that I like their music, but OK GO! has been doing this for years. Where are their millions of dollars. Oh...they have a tiny smidge of talent. Again, I can't stand their music. And American Idol? Do people still care? I mean, after every single person from that show has failed to make it big, this is still a big deal? What the hell.
Anyhow, this has been a rant by yours truly. Comment away, or email me. Or don't. Whichever.
So what I've got planned here, is to just go. Its going to be weird. Its going to be completely weird. But, here it is.
Why can't Mystery Science Theater 3000 come back on the air? It was a great show with a devoted following, it ran forever on two networks that had no clue how to run it, but it still hangs on. Its on DVD, its all over the internet (mostly because the creators encourage downloading/streaming of it) and the stars/creators all have various versions of the format that they even perform live. Why wouldn't this work? Yeah, it would be kind of pricey if they wanted to go after "real" movies, but there are plenty in public domain that would work just fine. Just something that's always bothered me.
Especially when you look at all the crap that comes on TV nowadays. I mean, look at "The Cape". That was awful. I can't even elaborate on how terrible that show was. Then, you have five-thousand reality shows that are all trying to capitalize on some show that's done the format better than they can do, no matter how many bells and whistles they add to it.
Its not like comedies got it any better. Anyone seen "Breaking In" I think that's the name of it. It has Christian Slater in it, that's all I know. It got cancelled, but that isn't going to heal the wounds I got from watching it. One of the last episodes they did, was about Comic-Con, now, I've never been to a "con" but I can't imagine it being any worse than what they presented. It seems like the big jock guy from "Revenge of the Nerds" wrote a television show. Here's a quote: "nerds only care about Xena and Star Trek". Let that sink in for a moment. All done? Did you die a little inside? Someone said this was acceptable for air. Yup.
And the big one that I hate, is Glee. I know, everyone loves it, because cute little "teenagers" in wheelchairs sing old and new pop songs, and its so happy...fuck that. Now, before I get started, I am accepting of everyone's lifestyle. I don't care if you're a gay, african american, snowboarder who moonlights as an acoustic guitair player in an alt-ska band, I really don't. But this show seems to delight in playing off everyone's supposed "un-gayness" and everyone else's "okay-with-gayness". To me, the whole mess looks like a stereotypical gay guy's wet dream. Even the straight characters seem like they're all on the verge of just grabbing the nearest person of the same gender and just going for it. Now, that's not a knock on the whole gay side, that's a knock on bad writing. So all you "Gleeks" go to hell. Or just, find a better show. Come on.
On the brighter side of things, soon we can all start ignoring Charlie Sheen. And I can't wait. The "winning" shit was not funny. Neither was the "warlock" business. I assume his stage show wasn't anything special, and there's just not anything spectacular about the guy. I liked Hot Shots, but that's it. In everything else, he's played himself. Look at his tenure on "Spin City" in what I like to call the "un-watchable" years. If you didn't know better, you'd think Two and a Half Men was a sequel to it. Both characters are so awesomely called "Charlie" both are womanizing drunks pushed into odd situations. Gah.
But back to my original point, he's been replaced by Ashton Kutcher. Okay. Now, I'm not praising Kelso, and I've never sat through an episode of the show...well, maybe if you catch all the re-runs I've skipped through, it might add up to an episode. But really, does this matter? Not in the long run.
I used to love wrestling. I still watch it from time to time. I'm not one of those weird fans, that obsesses over every little thing. I know its fake. And I can live with that, because it CAN be entertaining. But not usually. It just sucks that ROH isn't on TV anymore. I actually liked watching some of those guys almost kill themselves doing stupid moves.
But really, WWE is the only game in town. TNA tries, but they are like a low-rent WCW. Not when WCW was good, like late 1999 WCW. Don't know what I'm talking about? Hit up YouTube. Have fun.
But what really bothers me about it, is that it just seems like they've stopped trying. I mean, really. WWE was messing up so badly that they had to bring The Rock back. TNA can't do anything right, and I used to love watching their show. I don't want to see the same old bastards doing the same old moves, and talking the same way. Its just bad. And no, I don't watch MMA, unless you count Bully Beatdown. If Mayhem fought every show, I'd be an MMA-freak. Instead, its just guys that look like high-school football players in bike shorts, trading arm bars and chokes for fifteen minutes. No thanks. If you like it, that's great. Its not for me.
What else...what else...oh! I heard a Bruno Mars song the other day at work. And I have never hated my ears for being able to work so much in my life. But then, it got worse. Because that was followed up with some of the American Idol finalists. And all I have to say, is WHAT THE FUCK, AMERICA?! We shunned Korn and Limp Bizkit for this? Are you kidding me? Bruno Mars writes a song about being lazy, in the most lazy way possible. Makes a lazy video about being lazy...and people buy this? Not that I like their music, but OK GO! has been doing this for years. Where are their millions of dollars. Oh...they have a tiny smidge of talent. Again, I can't stand their music. And American Idol? Do people still care? I mean, after every single person from that show has failed to make it big, this is still a big deal? What the hell.
Anyhow, this has been a rant by yours truly. Comment away, or email me. Or don't. Whichever.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Wherein I Lose My Mind
Let me preface this by saying that I don't get caught up in saying that the original version of something is better than remake. I don't care. And I've had this attitude forever. I'll give the remake a chance, and if it blows, I move on.
But then...something caught my eye. Something so absolutely terrible, grim, astonishing..and just downright bad that I had to make a post about it.
There's going to be a remake of The Crow. That I could handle, I've long since moved on from it. There won't be a good one past the first one, this one won't be good, I've come to terms with that.
But then, a casting "maybe" was leaked to the fine people of the internet.
Are you ready for it?
God...this hurts to type.
Bradley Cooper might be playing Eric Draven. Yeah, you're reading that right. The smug douche nozzle from such feats of cinematography as "Limitless", "The A-Team" and...that one stalker movie with Sandra Bullock. The guy who looks like that young boss you always have. You know, that one that is like two years younger than you, but is always trying to look stylish and cool, even though you both work for K-Mart. Yeah, that guy.
Honestly, how could the makers of this, I'm sure to be nominated for like a billion awards, movie see this as a good idea. And what's worse, from what I can gather the movie is supposed to draw more from the comic book. Let's look at some visual aids, shall we?
Bradley Cooper
Eric Draven (Comic Book)
The resemblances are striking, no?
Now, I know what you're thinking. "Oh, you're just ranting because its something you like!" Well no shit. That's kind of the whole point of me even posting on this. But it comes down to something bigger. Something more terrifying and awful. Something that I didn't think I would ever have to think about.
I, have become old. Its like when a parent makes you watch a movie that they love, but that you've never seen. You hate it. Even if you liked some parts of it, you mostly hate it. Not because its a bad movie, you are just engineered to hate the last generation. That's how it works for everything.
Is this petty? Yes. But I think its something that needs to be stated. I mean, there are plenty of people out there with decent to good movie ideas (none of them are on the internet, don't look.) The people in charge just seem to be afraid. And that's fine, fear is good. But as long as people continue to pay for this kind of garbage, the more they'll keep putting out. I have never seen the new Nightmare or 13th, and I probably never will just based on principle. And, I didn't want to see Rorschach play Freddy.
But I guess that's how it works. Just as long as they never try and remake Ninja Turtles, I'll be fine. That reminds me, I should check and see if that's happening...
*Sounds of screaming and intense vomiting.*
I'm moving to Europe.
But then...something caught my eye. Something so absolutely terrible, grim, astonishing..and just downright bad that I had to make a post about it.
There's going to be a remake of The Crow. That I could handle, I've long since moved on from it. There won't be a good one past the first one, this one won't be good, I've come to terms with that.
But then, a casting "maybe" was leaked to the fine people of the internet.
Are you ready for it?
God...this hurts to type.
Bradley Cooper might be playing Eric Draven. Yeah, you're reading that right. The smug douche nozzle from such feats of cinematography as "Limitless", "The A-Team" and...that one stalker movie with Sandra Bullock. The guy who looks like that young boss you always have. You know, that one that is like two years younger than you, but is always trying to look stylish and cool, even though you both work for K-Mart. Yeah, that guy.
Honestly, how could the makers of this, I'm sure to be nominated for like a billion awards, movie see this as a good idea. And what's worse, from what I can gather the movie is supposed to draw more from the comic book. Let's look at some visual aids, shall we?
Bradley Cooper
Eric Draven (Comic Book)
The resemblances are striking, no?
Now, I know what you're thinking. "Oh, you're just ranting because its something you like!" Well no shit. That's kind of the whole point of me even posting on this. But it comes down to something bigger. Something more terrifying and awful. Something that I didn't think I would ever have to think about.
I, have become old. Its like when a parent makes you watch a movie that they love, but that you've never seen. You hate it. Even if you liked some parts of it, you mostly hate it. Not because its a bad movie, you are just engineered to hate the last generation. That's how it works for everything.
Is this petty? Yes. But I think its something that needs to be stated. I mean, there are plenty of people out there with decent to good movie ideas (none of them are on the internet, don't look.) The people in charge just seem to be afraid. And that's fine, fear is good. But as long as people continue to pay for this kind of garbage, the more they'll keep putting out. I have never seen the new Nightmare or 13th, and I probably never will just based on principle. And, I didn't want to see Rorschach play Freddy.
But I guess that's how it works. Just as long as they never try and remake Ninja Turtles, I'll be fine. That reminds me, I should check and see if that's happening...
*Sounds of screaming and intense vomiting.*
I'm moving to Europe.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Bacon Can't Solve Everything (I'm Looking at YOU Denny's)
So...I went to Denny's for food this evening. First mistake in a long line of many for tonight.
I eat animals. I've tried not to. But I just can't help it. I've seen them prepared a lot of ways. But nothing I've seen prepared me for this. Not a damn thing. I was handed a menu that was bacon themed. Normally I wouldn't bat an eye. But something caught my attention. A bacon sundae. I'm sure you've seen the commercial. So this isn't news. I don't listen to commercials. I thought it to be a joke. But, there I sat, confronting reality. They did it. Ice cream and bacon together.
Now, most people's minds would be screaming "NO!" But my mind works slightly differently. The part that was saying "NO!" was follwing that up with "...well maybe it won't be all that bad."
So...after my normal food, I was forced to blaze the trail to the bacon sundae.
And now, here I sit, its midnight, and my stomach and chest area are having an intense battle with the punishment I've put them through. There is begging, there is sobbing, there might even be vomit.
Have I learned my lesson? When it comes to bacon and ice cream, yes. Everything else? Probably not. Just keep onions the fuck away from it and I'll give it a go.
I eat animals. I've tried not to. But I just can't help it. I've seen them prepared a lot of ways. But nothing I've seen prepared me for this. Not a damn thing. I was handed a menu that was bacon themed. Normally I wouldn't bat an eye. But something caught my attention. A bacon sundae. I'm sure you've seen the commercial. So this isn't news. I don't listen to commercials. I thought it to be a joke. But, there I sat, confronting reality. They did it. Ice cream and bacon together.
Now, most people's minds would be screaming "NO!" But my mind works slightly differently. The part that was saying "NO!" was follwing that up with "...well maybe it won't be all that bad."
So...after my normal food, I was forced to blaze the trail to the bacon sundae.
And now, here I sit, its midnight, and my stomach and chest area are having an intense battle with the punishment I've put them through. There is begging, there is sobbing, there might even be vomit.
Have I learned my lesson? When it comes to bacon and ice cream, yes. Everything else? Probably not. Just keep onions the fuck away from it and I'll give it a go.
First Post!
Well...I've finally done it. After dabbling for a bit on MySpace (when MySpace was cool. It WAS cool, right? Right?!) I am making a blog.
The purpose of this blog? Mostly talking about shit movies, games, music. Yeah, its one of those. Now, I had trouble trying to decide what I should make my first post about. Me? Hell no. My life? Not that interesting and I don't care what the internet wants to know about me. More than likely, the only people that will even glance at this, already know me.
No, I think, with my first post I'm just going to put a few things out there and see how people react (if they even react at all) and go from there.
First thing is first, this isn't going to be an "angry review" style thing. I'm not a critic, nor do I claim to be. I may criticize things, but I have no background on which to pull from. I'm just stating opinion nine times out of ten. And even if I try to give facts, they most likely came from Wikipedia. Which makes them about ten times more legit than any other source. Right? Fucking A.
I wanted to talk about a movie, but I couldn't think of one, and my movie collection is full of movies that every one loves, or stuff that's kind of obscure and I would feel weird talking about (I'm looking at you "The Room"). No, I'm going to talk about a song I heard the other day. Something that completely took me by surprise, and made me angry all at once.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UuEPKvs0QV4
What the fuck is that?! Yeah, its true, I hate most music, aside from my very limited tastes, but that's just fucking pathetic. "Oh, its called Country Song and they have a banjo and shit in it". Big fucking woo! It doesn't stop it from sounding like shit. I was one of those bastards that bought the first Seether CD, so I feel partly to blame for this. I mean...I helped open the window for this. Bad lyrics, bad instrumentals...just...gah!
And I think this speaks more for the state of music. I mean, if Seether has to resort to this type of shit, what's next? I mean, next you're going to tell me that Hollywood Undead are going to release a live album. (*Jordan hits up Google*) ...son of a bitch. Okay, okay, there has to be something worse.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZ96FHEEI7k
Hmm...that actually didn't take that long to find. Now, I hate Halestorm. No lie to that. That made me hate them more. "But Jordan, how can you hate them?! They rock!" Okay, first off, Iron Maiden rocks. Halestorm is more like Joan Jett 2000. Sure, the attitude is there but its all modern and stupid. Just because a woman sings in a rock band doesn't make it special. All of the chicks in mainstream rock still have to live up to Lita Ford if you ask me. And she was also terrible, plus, I'm not old enough to think that. What the hell is wrong with me?
I call it, The Linkin Park Effect. "What's that?" You might ask? Well, some of you may remember when Linkin Park first started getting heavy play, their first single was a pretty hard track, I can't be bothered to look it up right now, but it was decent for the time, something different, so I picked up the album expecting more of the same, what I got was "Crawling" and "In the End" and their DJ's stupid solo thing. I was socks for Christmas disappointed. And they got popular off the back of those songs. And it just spiraled from there. A lot of bands fall into this pit. Release a heavy song to get popular with the hard rock/metal crowd, and then completely abandon that when you get popular. Now, some bands fall back on it, some don't. Some forge ahead with their newfound shittiness and keep Rollin' Rollin' Rollin (see what I did there?!?! wittymotherfuckerisI).
Now, I'm a fairly young guy, mid-twenties, that's still young. But I always hear and read about music of the past decades and I see this unity and power in it. And I wonder where that has gone. I don't like any of that music, per se. But it says something that Bob Dylan can still sell out shows and Halestorm has to make cover albums. Or that Bret Michaels gets like fifteen realty shows. Why? Poison stopped being relevant long ago, but people still watch him. Why? I have no fucking clue. I've tried to watch his "Rock of STDs" a few times, and its awful. Every episode is like the girls are trying out to be strippers. And not good strippers either. I'm talking like Wednesday morning strippers. Wednesday morning strippers who would rather talk about themselves than get naked.
But, I digress. What happened to the music I grew up with? It might just be a generational thing, and I'm the grandpa talking about Waylon Jennings, but instead of Waylon Jennings I'm talking about Korn or whatever. Its just weird to see MTV (when they show something to do with music) talking about Justin Bieber when they used to talk about Slipknot or Metallica. And at the end of the day, I think that's what it is. Generational. Nu-Metal was awful in retrospect, but we got Slipknot out of it. But in return, we got Stone Sour, which took forever for me to like. But I do. But it is the same thing in metal, how can a band like Halestorm get popular, but Taproot can completely fall off the radar? Their music was better, the guy's voice had an amazing contrast to the instrumentals which made for a much better sound, but at the end of the day, it comes down to one thing. Marketability. You can't sell the guys from Taproot because they are sporting racks and glob on so much eyeliner and black leather that they look like a Hot Topic exploded all over them.
Look at Papa Roach. Now, I didn't care for anything they did after their debut (mostly because a certain friend of mine jammed them and Disturbed down my ear-holes every single second I was around him), but even then, they were still out there trying to make the best kind of music that they could. But look at them now. Eye-liner, stupid hair, chains and leather and shit. Awful.
In summation; I hate the state of music, I haven't bought any music for over a year now, and I'm not at all bothered by it. If all we can get is Seether trying to sound like Djerks Bentley and Halestorm ruining a bunch of current and classic songs, I'll get by. Finland makes better music anyways.
The purpose of this blog? Mostly talking about shit movies, games, music. Yeah, its one of those. Now, I had trouble trying to decide what I should make my first post about. Me? Hell no. My life? Not that interesting and I don't care what the internet wants to know about me. More than likely, the only people that will even glance at this, already know me.
No, I think, with my first post I'm just going to put a few things out there and see how people react (if they even react at all) and go from there.
First thing is first, this isn't going to be an "angry review" style thing. I'm not a critic, nor do I claim to be. I may criticize things, but I have no background on which to pull from. I'm just stating opinion nine times out of ten. And even if I try to give facts, they most likely came from Wikipedia. Which makes them about ten times more legit than any other source. Right? Fucking A.
I wanted to talk about a movie, but I couldn't think of one, and my movie collection is full of movies that every one loves, or stuff that's kind of obscure and I would feel weird talking about (I'm looking at you "The Room"). No, I'm going to talk about a song I heard the other day. Something that completely took me by surprise, and made me angry all at once.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UuEPKvs0QV4
What the fuck is that?! Yeah, its true, I hate most music, aside from my very limited tastes, but that's just fucking pathetic. "Oh, its called Country Song and they have a banjo and shit in it". Big fucking woo! It doesn't stop it from sounding like shit. I was one of those bastards that bought the first Seether CD, so I feel partly to blame for this. I mean...I helped open the window for this. Bad lyrics, bad instrumentals...just...gah!
And I think this speaks more for the state of music. I mean, if Seether has to resort to this type of shit, what's next? I mean, next you're going to tell me that Hollywood Undead are going to release a live album. (*Jordan hits up Google*) ...son of a bitch. Okay, okay, there has to be something worse.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZ96FHEEI7k
Hmm...that actually didn't take that long to find. Now, I hate Halestorm. No lie to that. That made me hate them more. "But Jordan, how can you hate them?! They rock!" Okay, first off, Iron Maiden rocks. Halestorm is more like Joan Jett 2000. Sure, the attitude is there but its all modern and stupid. Just because a woman sings in a rock band doesn't make it special. All of the chicks in mainstream rock still have to live up to Lita Ford if you ask me. And she was also terrible, plus, I'm not old enough to think that. What the hell is wrong with me?
I call it, The Linkin Park Effect. "What's that?" You might ask? Well, some of you may remember when Linkin Park first started getting heavy play, their first single was a pretty hard track, I can't be bothered to look it up right now, but it was decent for the time, something different, so I picked up the album expecting more of the same, what I got was "Crawling" and "In the End" and their DJ's stupid solo thing. I was socks for Christmas disappointed. And they got popular off the back of those songs. And it just spiraled from there. A lot of bands fall into this pit. Release a heavy song to get popular with the hard rock/metal crowd, and then completely abandon that when you get popular. Now, some bands fall back on it, some don't. Some forge ahead with their newfound shittiness and keep Rollin' Rollin' Rollin (see what I did there?!?! wittymotherfuckerisI).
Now, I'm a fairly young guy, mid-twenties, that's still young. But I always hear and read about music of the past decades and I see this unity and power in it. And I wonder where that has gone. I don't like any of that music, per se. But it says something that Bob Dylan can still sell out shows and Halestorm has to make cover albums. Or that Bret Michaels gets like fifteen realty shows. Why? Poison stopped being relevant long ago, but people still watch him. Why? I have no fucking clue. I've tried to watch his "Rock of STDs" a few times, and its awful. Every episode is like the girls are trying out to be strippers. And not good strippers either. I'm talking like Wednesday morning strippers. Wednesday morning strippers who would rather talk about themselves than get naked.
But, I digress. What happened to the music I grew up with? It might just be a generational thing, and I'm the grandpa talking about Waylon Jennings, but instead of Waylon Jennings I'm talking about Korn or whatever. Its just weird to see MTV (when they show something to do with music) talking about Justin Bieber when they used to talk about Slipknot or Metallica. And at the end of the day, I think that's what it is. Generational. Nu-Metal was awful in retrospect, but we got Slipknot out of it. But in return, we got Stone Sour, which took forever for me to like. But I do. But it is the same thing in metal, how can a band like Halestorm get popular, but Taproot can completely fall off the radar? Their music was better, the guy's voice had an amazing contrast to the instrumentals which made for a much better sound, but at the end of the day, it comes down to one thing. Marketability. You can't sell the guys from Taproot because they are sporting racks and glob on so much eyeliner and black leather that they look like a Hot Topic exploded all over them.
Look at Papa Roach. Now, I didn't care for anything they did after their debut (mostly because a certain friend of mine jammed them and Disturbed down my ear-holes every single second I was around him), but even then, they were still out there trying to make the best kind of music that they could. But look at them now. Eye-liner, stupid hair, chains and leather and shit. Awful.
In summation; I hate the state of music, I haven't bought any music for over a year now, and I'm not at all bothered by it. If all we can get is Seether trying to sound like Djerks Bentley and Halestorm ruining a bunch of current and classic songs, I'll get by. Finland makes better music anyways.
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