All right, its one in the morning, I'm tired as all hell, but I can't sleep. So I thought I'd fire up the ol' blog machine and see what comes out of my brain hole. Yes, I have a brain hole. Kind of like the Matrix ones, but no metal plug. Just all kind of slops out of there. Yup.
So what I've got planned here, is to just go. Its going to be weird. Its going to be completely weird. But, here it is.
Why can't Mystery Science Theater 3000 come back on the air? It was a great show with a devoted following, it ran forever on two networks that had no clue how to run it, but it still hangs on. Its on DVD, its all over the internet (mostly because the creators encourage downloading/streaming of it) and the stars/creators all have various versions of the format that they even perform live. Why wouldn't this work? Yeah, it would be kind of pricey if they wanted to go after "real" movies, but there are plenty in public domain that would work just fine. Just something that's always bothered me.
Especially when you look at all the crap that comes on TV nowadays. I mean, look at "The Cape". That was awful. I can't even elaborate on how terrible that show was. Then, you have five-thousand reality shows that are all trying to capitalize on some show that's done the format better than they can do, no matter how many bells and whistles they add to it.
Its not like comedies got it any better. Anyone seen "Breaking In" I think that's the name of it. It has Christian Slater in it, that's all I know. It got cancelled, but that isn't going to heal the wounds I got from watching it. One of the last episodes they did, was about Comic-Con, now, I've never been to a "con" but I can't imagine it being any worse than what they presented. It seems like the big jock guy from "Revenge of the Nerds" wrote a television show. Here's a quote: "nerds only care about Xena and Star Trek". Let that sink in for a moment. All done? Did you die a little inside? Someone said this was acceptable for air. Yup.
And the big one that I hate, is Glee. I know, everyone loves it, because cute little "teenagers" in wheelchairs sing old and new pop songs, and its so happy...fuck that. Now, before I get started, I am accepting of everyone's lifestyle. I don't care if you're a gay, african american, snowboarder who moonlights as an acoustic guitair player in an alt-ska band, I really don't. But this show seems to delight in playing off everyone's supposed "un-gayness" and everyone else's "okay-with-gayness". To me, the whole mess looks like a stereotypical gay guy's wet dream. Even the straight characters seem like they're all on the verge of just grabbing the nearest person of the same gender and just going for it. Now, that's not a knock on the whole gay side, that's a knock on bad writing. So all you "Gleeks" go to hell. Or just, find a better show. Come on.
On the brighter side of things, soon we can all start ignoring Charlie Sheen. And I can't wait. The "winning" shit was not funny. Neither was the "warlock" business. I assume his stage show wasn't anything special, and there's just not anything spectacular about the guy. I liked Hot Shots, but that's it. In everything else, he's played himself. Look at his tenure on "Spin City" in what I like to call the "un-watchable" years. If you didn't know better, you'd think Two and a Half Men was a sequel to it. Both characters are so awesomely called "Charlie" both are womanizing drunks pushed into odd situations. Gah.
But back to my original point, he's been replaced by Ashton Kutcher. Okay. Now, I'm not praising Kelso, and I've never sat through an episode of the show...well, maybe if you catch all the re-runs I've skipped through, it might add up to an episode. But really, does this matter? Not in the long run.
I used to love wrestling. I still watch it from time to time. I'm not one of those weird fans, that obsesses over every little thing. I know its fake. And I can live with that, because it CAN be entertaining. But not usually. It just sucks that ROH isn't on TV anymore. I actually liked watching some of those guys almost kill themselves doing stupid moves.
But really, WWE is the only game in town. TNA tries, but they are like a low-rent WCW. Not when WCW was good, like late 1999 WCW. Don't know what I'm talking about? Hit up YouTube. Have fun.
But what really bothers me about it, is that it just seems like they've stopped trying. I mean, really. WWE was messing up so badly that they had to bring The Rock back. TNA can't do anything right, and I used to love watching their show. I don't want to see the same old bastards doing the same old moves, and talking the same way. Its just bad. And no, I don't watch MMA, unless you count Bully Beatdown. If Mayhem fought every show, I'd be an MMA-freak. Instead, its just guys that look like high-school football players in bike shorts, trading arm bars and chokes for fifteen minutes. No thanks. If you like it, that's great. Its not for me.
What else...what else...oh! I heard a Bruno Mars song the other day at work. And I have never hated my ears for being able to work so much in my life. But then, it got worse. Because that was followed up with some of the American Idol finalists. And all I have to say, is WHAT THE FUCK, AMERICA?! We shunned Korn and Limp Bizkit for this? Are you kidding me? Bruno Mars writes a song about being lazy, in the most lazy way possible. Makes a lazy video about being lazy...and people buy this? Not that I like their music, but OK GO! has been doing this for years. Where are their millions of dollars. Oh...they have a tiny smidge of talent. Again, I can't stand their music. And American Idol? Do people still care? I mean, after every single person from that show has failed to make it big, this is still a big deal? What the hell.
Anyhow, this has been a rant by yours truly. Comment away, or email me. Or don't. Whichever.
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